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Someone told me once that if I wanted to do something, then I should start working my way towards it without thinking about the time it will take for me to 'get there'. "The time will pass anyway, " He said. "Do something useful with it." That was how I went back to school, even though people said I was too old, that it would be harder now that I had a full time job and a life, that I would have loans to repay. I did it anyway, and it really wasn't that hard, now that I look back on it.
However, now I'm finishing a program that's taken me three years to complete at great cost and some considerable stress. I feel like I will never get there, like the graduation ceremony in Colorado will never arrive, like I'll be a student forever, always working toward something.
Never really getting there.
The truth is, we never really get there, as Abraham from the Esther and Jerry Hicks workshops always tells us. We are meant to enjoy the journey, and I'll admit, this has been one of my hardest life lessons. I am impatient. I like results. Now.
In my 20's someone taught me how to crochet. The surprising thing is, I've never worked on small projects. I've never made a scarf or a place mat. I always work on blankets. They're my favorite thing to make. They take a long time, they require patience and expense as you run out of colors of yarn and have to buy new skeins. I never follow patterns, I just use stitches I like until I instinctively feel that it's finally done. I don't seem to get too impatient. I might get bored with a color but I'm enjoying the process and seeing the results grow daily. I'm the same way when writing. Large projects excite and motivate me. I love the feeling of knowing when it's finally done.
I feel that we put pressure on ourselves in certain areas of our lives and not in others, and this is truly the case for me. There is a lesson for me to learn in the handling of all that yarn, all of those colors, and all of those hours where I am peacefully working toward something, knowing the end is in sight. I accept this more when it's something tangible.
The path involves acceptance. Growth and change aren't overnight accomplishments, and while they happen you're not always aware of what's taking place. Later, you view the finished product, step back to see the pattern that evolved, and you finally understand why it took so long, why it was worth the wait.
However, now I'm finishing a program that's taken me three years to complete at great cost and some considerable stress. I feel like I will never get there, like the graduation ceremony in Colorado will never arrive, like I'll be a student forever, always working toward something.
Never really getting there.
The truth is, we never really get there, as Abraham from the Esther and Jerry Hicks workshops always tells us. We are meant to enjoy the journey, and I'll admit, this has been one of my hardest life lessons. I am impatient. I like results. Now.
In my 20's someone taught me how to crochet. The surprising thing is, I've never worked on small projects. I've never made a scarf or a place mat. I always work on blankets. They're my favorite thing to make. They take a long time, they require patience and expense as you run out of colors of yarn and have to buy new skeins. I never follow patterns, I just use stitches I like until I instinctively feel that it's finally done. I don't seem to get too impatient. I might get bored with a color but I'm enjoying the process and seeing the results grow daily. I'm the same way when writing. Large projects excite and motivate me. I love the feeling of knowing when it's finally done.
I feel that we put pressure on ourselves in certain areas of our lives and not in others, and this is truly the case for me. There is a lesson for me to learn in the handling of all that yarn, all of those colors, and all of those hours where I am peacefully working toward something, knowing the end is in sight. I accept this more when it's something tangible.
The path involves acceptance. Growth and change aren't overnight accomplishments, and while they happen you're not always aware of what's taking place. Later, you view the finished product, step back to see the pattern that evolved, and you finally understand why it took so long, why it was worth the wait.
